Feature
The manager-employee relationship is everything. While middle managers get a bad rap, study after study shows how good managers drive both engagement and better financial outcomes. Furthermore, 69% of workers say their boss affects their mental health as much as their spouse does.
Considering the outsize impact managers can have on employee well-being, the question is: do managers know how to handle such delicate conversations? Despite being on the receiving end of most conversations, many middle managers are falling short when it comes to discussing mental health. This dynamic leaves employees afraid to open up and can quickly spiral into worse consequences for the workplace. So how do we create a generation of managers who can hold space for their direct reports?
Why Managers Balk
Attitudes towards employee well-being have shifted in recent years, but traditional mindsets still persist in some places, said Prudence Pitter, global head of HR at AWS. In her previous experiences consulting and at other organizations, mental health was treated as a taboo meant to be solved outside the workplace.
“It was never explicitly stated in that way, but it was certainly implied,” Pitter said.
In many cases, managers are also worried that having these kinds of discussions can backfire or hurt their relationships with employees, said Todd Davis, senior consultant at Franklin Covey. According to his research, up to 82% of managers say they struggle with difficult conversations in the workplace.
There’s also the oft-discussed issue of middle managers who were promoted into their positions as a result of their individual work but have no desire or ability to lead others. Sonar CHRO Clarissa O’Connell said that in some cases, however, it’s not all the manager’s fault.
“I think that middle managers oftentimes are promoted and put into those positions because they've been really incredible workers,” O’Connell said. “But they're not necessarily given the tools and resources that they need in order to become great leaders.”
Finally, research shows that today’s middle managers are struggling with mental health themselves. Multiple studies have found that burnout and work-related stress affect up to 79% of middle managers. If managers are struggling themselves, how can they help others?
Related Article: Middle Management Is Stuck. Time for a Reset
Set Your Managers up for Success
There’s broad agreement that despite the tricky subject matter, companies can coach their managers to be better at holding these conversations.
“Most companies should really take the time and energy to put forth a path for their people that they're promoting within the company,” O’Connell said. “It should feel as though you're contributing to what your company is doing but also growing personally and professionally.”
At Sonar, O’Connell said there’s an emphasis on providing the resources and tools necessary for success to managers as soon as possible, and bringing leaders together to share intelligence and experience.
“We're meeting consistently with leaders of the company,” O’Connell said. “We're talking through progress and potential conflicts with them, and we're outfitting them with the tools so that they have the confidence to handle those conversations before they become issues.”
Pitter said that coaching can also help connect the dots for managers, helping them understand that meeting the well-being needs of employees can ultimately help them do their jobs better.
Within AWS, Pitter said there are plenty of self-led resources available so that managers can take the time to learn at their own discretion. However, within her consulting practices, she’s seen other approaches as well, including companies making this topic a part of their offsites or retreats.
Related Podcast: Normalizing the Conversation Around Employee Well-Being
Coaching Tips
Pitter and Davis offered some of the following tips that managers can use to guide their way through conversations on mental health and well-being.
Balance Courage and Consideration
In difficult situations, managers need to learn how to balance consideration for an employee’s privacy and having the courage to hold a difficult conversation.
“The highest form of consideration is to have the tough conversation because you care about the person,” Davis said.
Declare Your Purpose and Intent
Employees often hesitate to open up about personal issues out of fear their managers might use it against them. Davis said managers can help assuage these fears by clearly declaring their purpose and intent for the conversation.
“If you’re sincere and want to help, and declare that, you can say almost anything,” Davis said, adding that employees’ defenses are lowered when they feel their leader has their best intentions at heart.
Recognize Individual Differences
“Some of the feelings and needs that you have might be identical to your employees, and the ways in which you need to be supported are many times identical,” Pitter said. “However, there are periods of time when what you need personally to be whole is different from what your employee needs.”
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For example, some new moms in the workplace may be fine traveling for work, while others may not, highlighting the importance of respecting different needs and not making assumptions, Pitter said.
Don’t Postpone the Conversation
Putting off difficult conversations may end up just frustrating employees who feel that their manager took too long to say something, according to Davis.
“I’ve learned from experience and I’ve seen it happen to other leaders,” Davis said. “If we’re uncomfortable and we postpone it, it doesn’t go away. It only gets worse.”
