Editorial
A friend and I were recently debating the relative merits of the "thumbs up" emoji. What on the surface seems fairly harmless can easily be misinterpreted, and in the worst case, viewed as a passive-aggressive response.
The nuances of virtual communication force us to examine and appreciate seemingly trivial matters such as emoji use, especially as communication and collaboration top the reasons why a growing number of organizations are pulling people back into the office.
Virtual Communication and the 'Liking Gap'
Research from UC Santa Cruz recently looked into the topic, specifically at how virtual communication differs from in-person communication, and its benefits and pitfalls.
One of the central questions of the virtual communication research was whether online communication affects our ability to forge relationships — another reason given for getting people back into the office.
They argue something known as the "liking gap" is at the heart of relationship building. The liking gap is when we underestimate how much other people like us. Virtual communication can harm this as it strips away many of the social cues we tap into when communicating face-to-face. This can lead us to err more on the pessimistic side and assume people's opinion of us is less favorable than it might actually be.
Underestimating Our Popularity
Achieving a realistic perception of our likability is further complicated by the tool and platform switching that constitutes so much of remote work.
The researchers paired remote workers to partner on problem solving to test the impact of this on our perceptions. Some of the pairs began their interaction via chat, others via an audio call, and some via a video call. Partway through the task, they switched platforms, so text chatters might use a video call, and so on.
After the task was completed, the researchers asked each participant a series of questions about the task, including whether they thought their partner liked them and whether they liked their partner.
The results clearly show the likability gap, with participants consistently underestimating how much their partner liked them. What is perhaps interesting, however, is that the researchers believe the size of the gap was broadly comparable with gaps seen in face-to-face encounters.
"These findings lend support to the theory that relationship-building processes adapt to virtual communications formats," the researchers explain. "So many people start relationships online nowadays, whether that's remote meetings with coworkers or meeting people on dating sites, so we really need to understand how this can affect the forming of meaningful relationships. This research gives us some valuable new insight."
How Small Talk Helps Us Overcome the Gap
While virtual communication is no worse than face-to-face communication for relationship building, it does seem beholden on us to try and improve what is a major flaw in how we engage with one another.
So, what can we do to make things better? The study found that a good starting point is to migrate from text to video platforms. Video communications helped create more balanced conversations while also supporting task-related recall, which made people more engaged and productive.
We should also encourage small talk during down times in the meeting, whether that's before it starts, during breaks or even at the conclusion. Small talk makes meetings more enjoyable, but it also strengthens relationships and makes it more likely that people will work together.
I previously shared some questions to help us to get to know our colleagues, even when working virtually. Structured, yet informal small-talk opportunities like these can really help break down perception gaps and allow us to learn more about our peers.
"Small talk isn't the sort of thing you can just add to your meeting agenda, because people will groan at the idea of it," the researchers explain. "It goes against our expectations that virtual meetings should get right down to business. But despite negative perceptions of small talk, we're finding clear positive effects from it."
Perhaps the key takeaway is that this incorporation of small talk has to be consistent. It's not a one and done thing, especially as it can take time for people to feel comfortable opening up.
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"At the end of the day, work isn't just about getting the current task accomplished, it's also about wanting to continue working together in the future," the researchers conclude. "So attending to the social component becomes super important, and that's as true virtually as it is in person."
Editor's Note: For more advice on improving workplace relations, read:
- Communications Frameworks Are Vital Workplace Tools — Clear communication isn't the norm. But by adopting these frameworks, you can ensure your message is understood, internalized and easily shared by others.
- Build Connections to Drive Higher Hybrid Work Performance — Opportunities for connection with managers and others at work is the new critical lever for performance management.
- More Meetings, More Loneliness? How to Fix Workplace Isolation — The Surgeon General has declared we're in a loneliness epidemic, and our work practices may be to blame. Is it time to clean the slate and go back to basics?
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