Editorial
Welcome to Courage Coach, where expert columnist Karin Hurt answers readers' tough leadership challenges with practical tools and techniques you can use right away. Have a question for her? Drop her a line!
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Dear Courage Coach,
I’m an exec in a global tech team spread out all over the world. My managers are mostly new (for some this is their first management role). I could use some help helping them. I’m hearing a lot of complaints about HOW they’re communicating. It’s not actually the words they’re using that are an issue, it’s the channel they’re choosing.
It’s a tough challenge. They’re spread across several time zones, so the window for video meetings and phone calls is limited. They’re crazy busy and understaffed, so time is tight.
They’re resorting to Slack, WhatsApp and Microsoft Teams messaging most of the time. Which, of course, is fine for some conversations. But, when they use those channels for sensitive or complex topics like performance management conversations, a reorganization or shift in direction, frankly it’s a hot mess. It’s creating unnecessary confusion and resentment.
I know I’m a bit old school, but it would never occur to me to not pick up the phone or arrange a video meeting if I had to talk about something sensitive. Quite frankly, I think some of them are using these asynchronous channels because it feels “safer” than having to deal with a real-time conversation.
Signed,
Help me help them
Dear HMHT,
Thanks for raising this issue. Sadly, you’re in good company with this one. This is a classic “conflict cocktail” we heard about in the research for our new book, Powerful Phrases for Dealing With Workplace Conflict. It includes people scattered across time zones, busy without much time and managers with limited training to lead well in these situations.
Here’s the good news. With a little direction, this is easily addressed.
First, I’d ground your conversation in the classic advice from the renowned communication researcher Marshall McLuhan, who coined the term “The medium is the message.”
Meaning that the way your managers are communicating is as (or more) important than the message itself. For example, if a manager tells an employee their schedule is changing to an unpopular time over Slack, the meaning interpreted could be “my manager doesn’t care about me, or have my best interest at heart.”
Of course, that may or may not be true, but nevertheless, meaning is created. In contrast, if a manager takes the time to write a handwritten note expressing genuine gratitude for a job well done, the medium is the message. “Wow, they took the time to write the note and send it. She must really care about me and my contribution.”
Related Article: Don’t Let Your Company’s Digital Tools Sabotage the Employee Experience
How to Pick The Right Communication Channel
When I’m training managers on which channel to use, I encourage them to ask themselves three questions before having a sensitive conversation.
- What might it feel like to be the other person in this scenario (e.g. what might they be thinking, feeling, or concerned about).
- What do I want them to think, feel or do because of our conversation (e.g. what is a successful outcome for this conversation).
- What questions can I anticipate, so I can come prepared to answer what I can?
And then from there, help them think through the communication channels available to them. The more emotion or sensitive the conversation, the higher bandwidth the channel.
So, if you need to change the time of a team meeting, an asynchronous slack message should work just fine. But if you’re changing strategic direction, I’d encourage your managers to find a way to talk in real-time, look the team in the eye, and prepare well to answer questions in an interactive session.
This can be a great training activity. Pick a few realistic scenarios they can relate too. Then, invite them to ask themselves the 3 questions, and from there choose their channel and the key messages. This should also help build confidence for those who are hiding behind asynchronous channels because they’re nervous about the conversation.
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It's all about making sure they understand how important it is to choose the right way to communicate. When you've got to discuss something serious or complicated, a quick message one-way message isn't going to cut it. It can cause confusion and make people feel undervalued. Help them understand the topics that are more sensitive and help them establish clear norms for which channel to choose.
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