How to Stop One Person From Dominating Virtual Meetings

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Dear Courage Coach,

My team is fully remote, which means we spend a lot of time in virtual meetings. There’s this one guy on my team, let’s call him “Joe.” Joe’s a nice guy. He’s smart, and a top performer. He has great ideas. But here’s the problem: He dominates our virtual meetings. I don’t want to shut him down or discourage him, but I do need to get more voices into the zoom. What should I do?

Signed, Zoom Fatigued

Dear Zoom Fatigued,

I’m hearing this frustration a lot from all directions: Introverts who can’t get a word in edgewise in their virtual meetings; high contributors frustrated that no one else is talking; and managers who struggle to get more voices into the zoom.

One way to start is by resetting expectations and inviting people to share their ideas about how to make your virtual meetings more effective.

For example, you might say: “I’ve noticed that some people are contributing more than others in our meetings. It’s important that everyone has an opportunity to contribute and offer their ideas.”

Then, invite their ideas! “Before our next meeting, I’d like everyone to email me one or two ideas to ensure everyone has a voice in our virtual meetings. Then I’ll combine the ideas and we can talk through them to come up with a strategy that will work for all of us.”

By giving everyone a chance to submit their ideas in advance, you give the people who are normally not talking a better chance to weigh in. This pre-gathering input technique can work well on other topics too.

Here are a few other ideas that work well to coach Joe and to draw more voices into the room.

Strategically Use Private and Public Chat

Rely on the power of chat.

Private chat works just like a hallway conversation but without having to take a break. You might send a private message to Joe to ask if he could help you draw others into the conversation: “Hey Joe, I really appreciate your ideas. I’m concerned that we’re not hearing from others on the team, too — can you help me get others into the conversation?”

Public chat also works great to prime the pump for conversation in your virtual meeting. One of the ways we do this in our leadership programs is to ask everyone to “put your fingers on the keyboard,” then ask a provocative question and have everyone chat in the answers. Then you can call out answers from some of the folks who are otherwise less likely to unmute and speak.

Create Smaller Conversations in Breakout Rooms

When you’re dealing with larger groups, leverage breakout rooms for more intimate and streamlined conversation. If you have an important decision to make, divide your team into smaller breakout rooms of three or four participants, then have them discuss the issue and come back with their best recommendations.

Make an effort to vary who gives the readout from the groups, so you’re not always hearing from the same talkative volunteers. You can even randomize it by saying something like: “And when we come back, I’d like the person with the birthday earliest in the year to summarize your discussion.”

Teach the Art of Facilitation and Take Turns

Empowering all team members with some basic training or tips on remote facilitation can also help. You’ve already established what success looks like in your idea phase. Now you’re empowering everyone on the team with a chance to implement those ideas. By rotating the meeting facilitation through every member of your team, you encourage more balanced conversations. A side benefit is that everyone’s more likely to pay attention to the meeting dynamics when they know it will soon be their turn to facilitate.

Talk With Your Meeting Dominator Offline

If you try all this and Joe’s still doing too much talking, it’s time to be direct. Have a one-to-one conversation about the pattern, pointing out why it matters and inviting them to help come up with a solution. Our I.N.S.P.I.R.E. technique for having a difficult conversation works great at a time like this.

“Joe, I’ve noticed you’re doing more talking than listening in our meetings. For example, in last Tuesday’s meeting, you cut both Sharon and Mike off mid-sentence and changed the subject while they were trying to discuss something. What do you think you could do to ensure everyone gets an opportunity to share their ideas without being interrupted?”

It’s quite possible that Joe doesn’t realize the pattern or the impact of his approach. He might even be thinking, “Thank goodness I’m here, or nobody would be talking!” Most of the time, these conversations end with something like, “Gosh, I didn’t realize I was doing that. I’m happy to help get others involved.”

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